An Unwelcome Visitor: Chapter.11

                  Acknowledging  true friendship and love that has come                                   with this M.S journey of mine!

                         We are all blessed with having friends, these maybe from our childhood, or friendships that have developed over the years, whatever, we all value these friendships one way or another!  I have been fortunate in my lifetime to (blessed is what I was going to say but that's a bit pompous, don't you think!)  still be in regular contact with a lot to this day. I suppose these are the kind of people who I love almost as much as my immediate family and in more recent years they have all in one way or another, stepped up to the post!  They did not have to, I never asked them to or indeed, expected them to but I am and always will be grateful to them for sticking with me during my times of crisis!
                        I don't think there were any of my friends who kept their distance from me, it was mainly my family, my Mum and Dad and certain other relatives of mine, not my immediate family, my wife and my girls and my in-laws, they have all been fantastic, a pain in my arse at times but nonetheless, fantastic to me. My family may have had their reasons, I don't know why, I would try and convince myself that I really didn't care but deep down, I suppose I did! I have felt for such a long time that there were really two things that I was always juggling  in the air, one was obviously M.S and the other was worrying about the feelings of family and friends towards me!
                    Like so many of us, I have always found it easier to share my thoughts with friends, even more than certain members of my own family and back in the'dark' days early on, it was always my friends who for some reason, Christ knows why,  would keep me going and made sure I stayed on the right track to recovery.  I know I can state on record that without this 'genuine' love, I would have ended up in a far, far different place as to that you find me in now! My friends have always had a very different outlook towards me with M.S, I think that they all knew that the person I had become, who would sometimes turn into a bit of a shit, was and always will be, fundamentally, a really nice bloke but sometimes, he does have The Unwelcome Visitor staying with him for a while.
                   With time and a lot of practice, I think I can tell the warnings signs,before they get too bad, I'm not talking about the 'obvious' physical things but the other issues that can be just as damaging to others, like your attitude, your rudeness, your lack of respect or care for others and indeed (this is where it get's a bit corny) your love, yes LOVE for others!  We all like to be 'liked' and indeed 'loved' and this shitty condition that we have to deal with, has got a knack of really screwing up your ability to use and also accept these most basic of human emotions!  However, when this happens, we, the MS'r, has usually, got no control, or at least , very little over it at all, so now when this happens to me, most of the people who know me best, will leave me alone and let me work things out myself or, which is ALWAYS appreciated by me, they will tell me straight that I am heading towards the 'dark side' and be there to stop me falling in too far!
                  Through my use of the Internet in recent years, I have been so lucky to make contact with so many lovely people, people that I can honestly say have become great friends with (albeit in Cyberspace), they know all about me and I can say that the person they all know, is the real me, the real deal, I may be a lot of things but at least I am honest! These may be on Twitter, various forums and the like, I have been honest and as upfront with them as the professionals in the white coats have always been with me! I have talked about everything from M.S to Music to Politics and all points in between and apart from very serious conversations, some very heated, most very amicable, there have been lots and lots of laughs. All of these laughs that I have had, have been so good for me and I hope others too and this by it's very nature has got to be one of the best forms of human emotion there is, anything that can take you away from thinking about your problems for a while must be as good as anything the Doctor can prescribe for you I reckon!  I have also found that this form of 'points of view'(I hate the term social network!) has been great for exchanging ideas and tips from like minded people, being able to give my opinion, not advice, I tend to draw the line at giving advice, who am I to offer advice to anyone about anything, I am in no way qualified to do that, especially when it comes to M.S, it is far too much of a unique condition to do that, for starters we are all so different but if an opinion is asked for, then I'm your man!
                      In the past three or four years as I have said, I have exchanged thoughts with many, truly lovely people, most of whom do not have a clue as to how they have made my life just that bit more bearable and I do honestly treasure their friendship. Without them I would be just that bloke with M.S, who is fortunate to still be working, trying to deal with it in his own way and apart from his wife and kids and a few select friends, that would be all, as far as he would be concerned, who the hell else is out there, well, quite a lot actually!!
I now realize that my life is that much more 'fulfilled' all because of these people, the people who came with me for the ride , so I suppose it is only right that I should thank them all in print so to speak, so in no particular order, here goes:-

Gillian my wife and my girls ,Rosie, Molly and Grace, unconditional love always.
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Carole and Pete and Dolly Dimple(my mother-in-law) without your help in those early days, things would have been so much tougher!
                  ******************************** To all of the kind people who helped with collecting the kids from school while we were at the Hospital or the Physio's.
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My Doctors, the Neurologists and all of the 'white coats' at the Hospital.
                   ******************************* All of the various PhysioTERRORISTS for putting me back together again, even the sadists who stuck needles in me all in the name of acupuncture!
                   ******************************* To Kate and Verity my M.S Nurses, much love and respect to them even though I have probably driven them up the wall on occasion!
                  ******************************** The Company that I am so fortunate to still work for, so a very big THANKYOU to Swindon Pressings.
                  ******************************** To Cathy my first Occupational Nurse, Doctor Muir the Company Doctor who let me go back to work in the first place!
                  ******************************** To all (or at least ,most) of my workmates, thanks for being there.
                  ******************************** To my merry gang of 'true' friends, Rik, Dave, Chris, Bruce, Ady, Larry, Dave.M, Dennis.H, Stan, Dennis.B, Nigel, Andy, Steve, Colin, Big Al (R.I.P) and all of my oldest friends who I may have forgotten, no finer bunch of reprobates anyone could wish for and I love you all, you bunch of hoolies'!
                   *******************************

To Tom (R.I.P) and Jean, the best neighbours you could wish for!
                   ******************************* To Ivy and Fred, two of the nicest people out there!
                   ******************************* To Di and Kev, two of the nicest people I have yet to meet ( soon I promise) who have made me laugh so much!!
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To Steve, Tanya, Andy, Kaye, Sharon, Craig and all of those oh so naughty people back at Legion House!
                   ******************************* To Jackie Wray, Laura and all of the incredible staff at Swindon M.S Therapy Centre .
                  ******************************** To Carrie also at the Centre for helping me to 'try' and relax (still working on that one!) and sorting out this busted framework of mine with her special powers!
                 ********************************* To each and everyone of the fantastic people who I meet every week at the Centre, for teaching me not to be so self centred and above all, to make me realize that I am not alone!!
                ********************************** To Shelley for listening to me and helping me to come to terms with so,so much!!
               *********************************** To all of my friends on Twitter, far too many to mention but a special thanks to Caroline (@girl with MS), who knows, maybe we will have that glass of wine looking out over the Canyon, you never know!!
               ***********************************                  Putting my very own M.S Story out there as a blog, has been one of the best things that I have ever done and it is one of the best forms of therapy that an M.S'r can do!  Once you start, it flows out of you so easy, so I urge anyone to do it and just remember, it's your life, your story, so who is the best person to tell it, YOU!
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                 The story will continue, only now we have come up to date, I can now concentrate on my day to day life with M.S. 
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